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Old 09/01/10, 09:07 PM   #1
Zabitan
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Default a sample of my writing style

Just to give a little taste of my writing style:

INT. The Lab

*The reality break alarm goes off*

Ryan: What is it professor?

Professor Hart: Battle Grid alert.

Ryan: Just say the magic words professor.

Professor Hart: Prepare for Battle Grid mode.

*All four troopers are standing next to each other with Amy, and Kaitlin on the left, and Ryan, and JB on the right, they then all glow a bright light, and when it fades they are transformed into Battle Grid mode. Amy's Battle Grid suit resembles Kaitlin's only purple instead of red. Amy looks down to see herself in the suit*

Battle Grid Amy: Wow

*The troopers then enter the virtual portal, and fly through it with Ryan in front, Kaitlin behind him, JB behind her, and Amy in the back until they reach a bright light. when it fades they land in the Battle Grid. When they land Ryan, and JB are on the left, and Kaitlin, and Amy are on the right*

Battle Grid Ryan: Hey you guys okay?

Battle Grid JB: Yeah

Battle Grid Kaitlin: Fine

Battle Grid Amy: I'm alright

Battle Grid Ryan: Good watch yourselves. We know they're around here somewhere.

Battle Grid Kaitlin: Yeah look.

*Just then the Ultra Skugs teleport in wielding hatchets*

Battle Grid Amy: That's odd does Grimlord always send Ultra Skugs to the Battle Grid?

Battle Grid JB: No he usually just sends regular Skugs.

Battle Grid Kaitlin: What do you think he's up to?

Battle Grid Ryan: Whatever it is we have to put a stop to it.

Other troopers: Right.

Battle Grid JB: V

Battle Grid Ryan: R

Battle Grid Kaitlin, and Amy: Troopers

Battle Grid Ryan : Let's go

*The troopers jump through the air, and when they land they fight the Ultra Skugs*

*A pair of Ultra Skugs come after Ryan with their hatchets. Ryan blocks them with his arms. pushes them away, and punches them in their chests. The Ultra Skugs then strike Ryan across the stomach sending him back*

*JB, and Kaitlin are punching, and kicking away the hatchets of the Ultra Skugs when they turn their heads around*

Battle Grid JB, and Kaitlin: Ryan.

*They then get struck by hatchets themselves, and get knocked back.*

Battle Grid Ryan: JB, Kaitlin you guys okay?

Battle Grid JB: Yeah fine

Battle Grid Kaitlin: I'm all right

*Amy is trying to kick away the hatchets of the Ultra skugs, and keep her distance from them. The Ultra Skugs teleport out, and Amy is about to breath a sigh of relief when they teleport behind her, and strike her with their hatchets knocking her into the other troopers*

Other troopers: Amy

Battle Grid Ryan: Amy are all right?

Battle Grid Amy: Yeah man those guys sure pack a whallop.

Battle Grid Kaitlin: What should we do?

Battle Grid JB: Only one thing we can do. Battle Grid Laser Staff command.

*JB's armor glows sending a pulse through it that materializes in his hand in the form of staff made of glowing blue light*

Battle Grid Ryan: Battle Grid Laser Katana command.

*Ryan's armor glows sending a pulse through it that materializes in his hand in the form of katana made of glowing yellow light*

Battle Grid Kaitlin: Battle Grid Dagger command.

*Kaitlin's armor glows sending a pulse through it that materializes in her hands in the form of a pair of daggers made of glowing red light*

Battle Grid Amy: Guess it's my turn time to see what I can do. Battle Grid Scythe command.

*Amy's armor glows sending a pulse through it that materializes in her hands in the form of a pair of scythes connected by a chain made of purple light*

Battle Grid Ryan: Let's do it

Other Troopers: Right

*The Ultra Skugs come after the Troopers with their hatchets. JB stabs one with his staff exposing it's circuits, then he decapitates the other one with his staff exposing it's circuits. They then fall to the ground, and disintegrate*

*Kaitlin is fighting off some more Ultra Skugs. A pair of Ultra Skugs come after her. She then cuts one in half vertically exposing it's circuits, she then cuts the other one in half horizontally exposing it's circuits. they fall to the ground, and disintegrate*

*Ryan fights of some more Ultra Skugs. He then cuts all of them diagonally with his katana exposing their circuits. They fall to the ground, and disintegrate*

*Amy fights Ultra Skugs with her scythes. An Ultra Skug tries to surprise her. she then throws her scythe, and it wraps itself the Skug's neck. The Ultra Skug tries to get it off but Amy pulls back until it decapitates the Skug exposing it's circuits. It falls to the ground, and disintegrates*

*The Trooper's weapons disappear as soon as all the Ultra Skugs are finished off. The Troopers then regroup*

Battle Grid Ryan: Good Job Amy.

Battle Grid Kaitlin: Yeah pretty good for your first time.

Battle Grid JB: Especially against Ultra Skugs,

Battle Grid Amy: Thanks.

Battle Grid Ryan: Okay you guys we handled off this problem. Now let's get back to the lab.

Other Troopers: Right.

All Troopers: VR Troopers.

*A glowing light appears, and the Troopers jump into it. They then transform back out of Battle Grid mode, and reappear in the lab*

# # #

Last edited by Zabitan; 10/21/11 at 12:00 AM.
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Old 09/04/10, 03:08 AM   #2
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Default Re: a sample of my writing style

An interesting snippet. I like how it the scene seemed to become more engaging as it went on. Adding weapons to battle grid mode was an interesting idea. The Amy Character intrigues me. I gave you're short story its own thread.
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Old 09/04/10, 10:50 AM   #3
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Default Re: a sample of my writing style

Thank you. I posted this on Rangerboard in the Fanfic Ideas thread, and everyone who replied said "Nice but I never saw VR Troopers".

Like I said in my Fanfic ideas thread the Amy in my version of VR Troopers is the same Amy from Rise of the Red Python I just thought it would have been a good idea to have her be an extra Trooper after hearing about how in Spielban the hero's sister who was the Red Python character, and when she was cured she became one of the good guys.

And I always wondered how things would have turned out if there was another trooper on the show, and the idea about her being a purple trooper came from that fanfic by KND6 where he imagines Ryan has a sister named Helen who becomes the Red Python, and later a purple VR Trooper instead of the Kaitlin's clone story.



As for my fan made Battle Grid segment the idea was this was supposed to be sometime during "Kaitlin goes Hollywood" which in my version is a multi-parter. The story is that when it looks like Kaitlin is going to leave Ryan, and JB get Amy to replace her, and have Tyler explain everything to Amy. Grimlord finds out about this, and wanting to stop this from happening attacks the Lab by sending Ultra Skugs to the Battle Grid.

In fact one of the things I was thinking was that when the alarm goes off the Professor says "Grimlord's Skugs are trying to invade the lab through the battle grid", and shows an image on the lab's monitors of the Ultra Skugs in the Battle Grid, and the professor tells Amy to consider it a training mission but to not forget what the stakes are, but I scrapped that because I thought it added too much dialogue, and that when I write all this everyone would know all that stuff anyway.


The reason is in my version of VR Troopers whenever they first get their powers there's a Battle Grid segment i.e. There's a Battle Grid segment in The Battle Begins part 1, and sometime in Quest for Power maybe Part 4 Ryan get's a new Battle Grid suit based on his Shaider armor which is what he wears in this one too so there's a Battle Grid segment there as well.

Another thing I mentioned in my fanfic ideas thread is that I saw these action figures based on the Battle Grid Troopers(Ryan, Katilin, and JB) that have weapons which they don't have on the show so I thought it would have been cool if they had those weapons on the show when they transformed into Battle Grid mode.

Amy's weapon is a pair of scythes with a chain because Kaitlin had that double edged scythe weapon that was Helen's weapon in Spielban which became Amy's weapon when I decided she should be the fourth Trooper in my story



Another thing I should mention in my story every time they transform into Battle Grid mode in a multi-parter instead of their usual transformations they have a group transformation like the one from Tyler's message in The Battle Begins, which is why Amy is looking down at herself in the Battle Grid suit.

In stand alone or filler episodes when they do have their usual transformations into Battle Grid mode Amy transforms after JB since she is the fourth Trooper, and during the portal sequences she is behind JB, and when they land in the Battle Grid Amy is on the other side of Kaitlin from Ryan same when they regroup to get out of Battle Grid mode.

When they transform out of Battle Grid mode at the end it's their usual Battle Grid transformations in reverse like in The Dojo Plot.
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Old 09/22/10, 07:11 PM   #4
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Default Re: a sample of my writing style

Just for fun I decided to write how I would have done the scene from Dream Battle where the Troopers get sent to Knighttime's universe, and Knighttime puts the dream spell on them.




INT: The Dark Fortress


Grimlord: Now Knightime send the Troopers into the dream zone.


*Cut to*

EXT: Crossworld Forest

All four Troopers get together with JB in front, Amy on the right, Ryan on the left, and Kaitlin in back.


*Cut to*

EXT: The Lab

Professor Hart: Prepare for Battle Grid mode.


*All four Troopers transform into Battle Grid mode, they then enter the virtual portal except instead of reaching a whit light they reach a red one, when it fades instead of landing in the Battle Grid they teleport into a forest surrounded by Skugs and are in the poses they were in before they transformed only now Ryan is in front Kaitlin is on the left, JB is on the Right, and Amy is in the back*


Battle Grid Ryan: Where are we?

*close up on JB*
Battle Grid JB: Not the Battle Grid that's for sure unless someone redecorated it.

*close up on Amy*
Battle Grid Amy: Then why are we in Battle Grid mode?

*close up on Ryan*
Battle Grid Ryan: Stay on your toes guys something fishy's going on here.


*Just then Knighttime shows up*
Knightime: Welcome Troopers to my reality.


*The Troopers then jump out into a single line with Amy on the far left, Kaitlin on the mid left, Ryan on the mid right, and JB on the far right*

Battle Grid Ryan: Whoa who's that?

Battle Grid Kaitlin: I don't know.


*Just then the Skugs disappear*

*close up on Kaitlin*
Battle Grid Kaitlin: Hey where are they going?

*close up on Knighttime*
Knightime: Away, and so are you.


*Knighttime then shoots a beam from his eyes at the Troopers*

Battle Grid Ryan: Oh yeah

*Ryan is hit by Knightime's beam which then goes into the other Troopers as well, afterwards they disappear from Knightime's universe*


Knightime: Pleasant dreams.

*The Troopers then reappear in the forest, and fall down*

Jeb: Drats not even a post card.


*The Troopers start glowing, and soon a white light engulfs them, when it fades they are back out of Battle Grid mode*

Okay I just wanted to write this since Dream Battle is one of my favorite episodes of the show, and the part where they appear in Knightime's universe in the Battle Grid suits was one of my favorites since it was the only time you saw them in Battle Grid mode outside the Battle Grid.

I also wanted to show how a Battle Grid segment would work in a stand alone episode as opposed to a multi parter like my last one.

Speaking of which something I forgot to mention about that when they have their usual Battle Grid transformations when Ryan gets a new Battle Grid suit based on his Shaider armor I'm trying to think if he should have a new transformation similar to JB's or if it should be the same as his old one just with a different suit, Amy I think should have a Battle Grid transformation similar to Kaitlin's since her Battle Grid suit is a purple version of Kaitlin's

Last edited by Zabitan; 12/25/13 at 12:12 AM.
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Old 01/16/11, 09:44 PM   #5
mbozzo
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You should be a script writer for Saban, Zabitan. You are good at writing a script.
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Old 01/16/11, 10:17 PM   #6
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Why thank you.

I wish I knew how to legally pitch scripts to Saban because that's something I would like to do.
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Old 09/14/14, 02:16 AM   #7
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Default Re: a sample of my writing style

that's pretty good.
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Old 09/17/14, 09:05 PM   #8
Zabitan
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Default Re: a sample of my writing style

Thanks though when I get around to writing my fanfics I'll probably come back to these because I have since re done it where not only does Amy from Rise of the Red Python become a Trooper but so does Jeremy from The Virtual Spy.

And when that happens he becomes Juspion, and all of his energy weapons, or at least the ones he uses in Battle Grid mode are green.
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